If you ask a million different people to describe their perfect kiss, you’ll get a million completely different answers. There may not be specific techniques that are universally adored, but we can all probably agree on a few kissing habits that need to be banned forever. Too much spit? Pass. Sour breath? No, thank you, please. Lizard tongue? Swipe left.

Here, take a look at the 7 unofficial don’ts of kissing (unofficial until we can get Congress or Beyonce to write it in stone)—as well as suggested fixes for each misstep.

1. Too Hard: Kissing should be a team sport, so don’t make your partner play defense all night long. Knocking teeth, thrashing tongues, flowing spit—all bad things.

Solution: We get it. It’s hella exciting to be kissing the person you’re into. But show some restraint and don’t try to shove your entire jaw into your partner’s mouth. And don’t try to see if your tongue can reach all the way to the back of their head. Start with a firm but gentle kiss, see how your partner responds, and take it from there, together.

2. Too Soft: On the other hand, no one wants to kiss a dead fish. If your partner is putting it out there and your lips and tongue aren’t moving, the romantic vibes definitely won’t last much longer.

Solution: If you’re into your partner, mirror their enthusiasm and put in a little effort. Instead of letting your lips lazily accept their lips or your tongue just sit in their mouth, match their movements like the seductive dance that kissing is supposed to be.

3. Sloppy Kissing: Too much tongue (and, as a result, too much saliva) can make for a very wet kiss that feels more like a flood on your face and in your mouth than something romantic.

Solution: Be mindful of how much saliva you produce. If your mouth has excess fluid, naturally ease out of lip locking like the cool cat that you are and subtly swallow your spit before easing back in for more. Repeat as necessary.

4. Too Hesitant: If your date wanted a closed mouth and a peck on the cheek, s/he could’ve just gone to Grandma’s house. Ending a great date with a ho-hum kiss could send the message that you aren’t interested.

Solution: There’s no need to engage in a full-on make-out session if you aren’t ready, but go ahead and lean in for a sweet kiss on the mouth if you’re feeling it. Relax those tightly pursed lips (sorry, but those will never inspire love songs) and let the sparks fly.

5. Hard Biting: A soft nip on the lip can be fun, but it should probably stop there during the early stages of courtship.

Solution: Match the kiss to your mission. If you’re getting to know someone, start with a soft lip kiss. Feeling more aggressive? You don’t know yet if your partner appreciates a kiss with a bit of a bite, so try a quick nibble and see how they respond.

6. Lizard Tongue: Darting your tongue in someone’s mouth even once is not sexy unless you’re role-playing and you’re the lizard.

Solution: Relax your tongue. Making out is like a dance. If you need to change your style, follow the pace of the other person.

7. Bad Breath: There’s nothing worse than having bad breath and making out with someone you’ve just met. You don’t want to be the person that’s a great date but has the worst breath. It could be a dealbreaker. (Morning sex may be the only excusable time.)

Solution: Keep breath mints within reach and pop them in before you make a move. Or stop bad breath before it begins by brushing and flossing regularly. Sigh, I guess dentists have some useful advice after all.

Be Knowsy

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